Gochikku Hon'ya
by Char739
Summary: When the Akatsuki open a book store Claire VanGoph befriends Hidan, but causes anger to Jashin and tells Hidan she has 7 days to get rid of their relationship, turn her into a Jashinist, or he'll kill her! Contains OCxHidan.
1. Day 1: Claire VanGoph

Pain sat at his special chair in the living room while watching the news and sipping his coffee. He let out a contented sigh as he took another sip. This was Sir Leader's idea of a Sunday morning.

He would wake up, have breakfast with the other screaming, cussing subordinates. Then, sense it was the Akatsuki's only break in the week, they would all eventually leave to go to concerts (Nickelback being their favorite), clubs, bars, and anywhere in between.

Pain finally fell asleep in his chair, awaiting the annoying "LEADER-SAMA!!!" alarm.

--

Itachi had decided to go to the leaf village today. He had disguised himself as the ordinary Joe Shmo and was looking for a decent store. He finally came to a **Barnes and Nobles** and decided to start his search for a good book.

When he entered the store, he noticed a 'Clearance Sale, Everything Must Go!' sign and decided to call Leader.

--

Pain had finally dozed off when the phone rang. He growled as he picked up the phone.

"Hello?" Pain grumbled.

"I hate to bother you Leader, but do you remember when you were talking about us on the brink of being bankrupt at breakfast?" Itachi said.

"Uh huh."

"Well, Barnes and Noble's closing. It's a small store, perfect for us."

"I'll go and talk to my people about it."

"Sir, you have people?" Itachi asked.

"Duh." Pain said, and hung up the phone.

Itachi stood there for a while, soaking everything in. He finally decided to just let Leader take care of everything and went to go look at Gothic novels.

--

"Please Lady Tsunade! Our organization will fall if you don't let us buy the store!" Pain begged on his knees.

"Well, look who crawls up to us good guys." Tsunade laughed. "Why should I let you have the store?"

"'Cause we're cool and have a million girl fan base?" Pain smiled.

"Say that we're the best and even though you're evil, we help you, 'cause we're the good guys." Tsunade smiled.

Pain sat there for a minute, considering his options, and finally realized there was no other choice.

" You're best and even though we're evil, you help me, 'cause you're the good guys." Pain said.

"Ok then, you may open your shop, but know that I'll be checking in from time to time." But before Tsunade finished, he was out the door. She sighed.

--

Pain ran to the front desk and booked out the whole store with the rest of the group's money, the clerk afraid of the Akatsuki cloak immediately obeyed. Pain sat in a chair and sighed, oblivious of the staring civilians.

--

A week later, all they had to do was come up with a name, and decorate the store. The Akatsuki sat around the meeting table.

"Now, you may be wondering why I called you here today,"

"About this stupid book store idea." Hidan sighed. "I see no point in books at all." Itachi stood up.

"How on earth could you say that!?" Itachi said. "Hidan, it's basically TV in your head!"

"What's with you Uchiha?" Hidan laughed. "The world isn't going to end if I don't read."

"One day, something great'll happen to you, and it won't happen 'cause you didn't read!" Itachi had gone psycho now.

"Whatever." Hidan said as he walked out of the room and into his and Kakuzu's.

"Well Itachi, if you have such a mind for reading, then you come up with a name." Pain said.

"I have the perfect name Sir." Itachi said. "I'll name it 'Gochikku Hon'ya'."

"English please, yeah." Deidara sighed.

"It means 'Gothic Bookstore' in Japanese n00b." Itachi said.

"Well, It's worth a shot." Pain said.

--

The next week, the store had their grand opening. The store was stocked with Gothic books, heavy metal CD's, and anything a Goth could want.

Hidan was forced to work at the counter, while Itachi and Kisame worked on opening the upstairs to the public. At that time, a girl walked into the store. Hidan never noticed her until she walked up to the counter and handed him a pile of stuff.

"Holy!" Hidan started.

"You obviously don't pay attention." The girl said as she pushed the pile toward him.

Hidan shrugged and began scanning out the stuff.

'_Dracula, Frankenstein, Twilight, what is this c**p?' _Hidan thought to himself as he scanned them out. That's what he thought until he got to a plushie of him.

"You know this guy?" he asked her as he held up the plush.

"Uh huh." She said. "I've looked on E-bay, Amazon, Toys R Us, but I could never find this little Hidan plush." She smiled. "Hold on, come to think of it, the Akatsuki's running this store, so you must be Hidan!" she pointed at him, a big grin on her face.

"Yeah." Hidan said. Finally, some respect from a fan!

"So, do you read?" the girl said as Hidan mentally slapped himself for not heading Itachi's words.

"Of course!" Hidan smiled.

"So what's your favorite book?" she smiled as he mentally said "D'oh!" to himself.

"Well," Hidan said.

"Claire VanGoph."

"Right, well, I have to say Saw is my favorite series." Hidan said as Claire laughed. "What?"

"You obliviously have never read a book before, because Saw was never a book, only a movie." She giggled.

"Ok, fine, you caught me." Hidan sighed. He scanned out the plush and gave her the stuff in exchange for the money.

"Our first dollars!" Kakuzu yelled as he ran in from the back room and scared the daylights out of Hidan and Claire.

Hidan and Kakuzu then started a wrestling match behind the counter while Claire stood and looked down at them. She eventually got tired of waiting, brushed her black hair out of her face, and grabbed her stuff and left.

"See you later!" Claire said as she walked out.

"Nice going!" Hidan yelled as he thumped his partner on the head.

"Hey, If you wanted to be smooth, don't let me stop you." Kakuzu said as he went back to the back room. Hidan stuck his tongue out as he left and plugged in his iPod.

--

The day slowly crawled by as only five more customers came, and lunch break had passed, they only had fifty bucks.

As they finally picked up, Hidan noticed a golden charm necklace on the floor and picked it up. When he opened it, there was a picture of Claire inside. He put it in his pocket to give to her next time he saw her. They then locked up and went home.

--

**YO! I think by now, you know I don't own Naruto, Barnes and Nobles, E-bay, Amazon, Toys R Us, Dracula, Frankenstein, Saw, or Twilight, and all credit goes to the geniuses who created them! I on the other hand, own Claire VanGoph. So no using her without asking! I hope you enjoyed, and hopefully review! Domo Arigato and enjoy! **


	2. Day 2: Blake Harvy

Today, it was Deidara's turn to man the cash register. He stuck three tongues out at Hidan, who scowled at him.

Itachi walked from shelf to shelf, making sure everything was in order for the customers. Sasori was busy in the back room or now called the 'break room' making more Akatsuki related merchandise, Kakuzu was putting money in many piles, Kisame was ordering more items from Borders, and Hidan and Zetsu were in charge of working on the upstairs today.

He had begged to Itachi to switch him to a job downstairs, but Itachi told him he would send her upstairs when she came. He sulked, one reason being Zetsu, who would obviously spy.

Their first matter was the lights, which with much persuading, had to climb atop of Zetsu's head to screw in the lights, with many "How many Akatsuki members does it take to screw in a light bulb?" jokes following.

--

During lunch break, Hidan was instructed to take his Big Mac to go, and watch over the store. When he came back, a girl was huddled over, waiting for the store to open.

'_Claire?' _Hidan thought as he ran up to her. She jumped up and started shaking him.

"I NEED BOOKS!!!!" she yelled.

"What happened to the other books!?" Hidan cried out.

"I read them all." Claire stated a matter of factly.

"Ok, hold on." Hidan shuffled threw the keys until he got the right one and let her run free.

Hidan put his food in the back room and followed her around.

"Read this… and this… Oh! Haven't read these!" She mumbled to herself.

She got a couple Death Note key chains and finally decided to go check out.

He scanned her items out and handed them to her.

"Oh," Hidan riffled in his pocket. "Here's this." He placed the golden locket on her stuff and watched her eyes get wide.

"YOU FOUND IT!" she yelled as she reached across the counter and grabbed him in a hug. Hidan's face turned a bright red. She let him go.

"This was a present from my parents before they… well…" Claire stuttered.

"Died?" Hidan asked as Claire looked at her shoes. "Sorry."

"It's all right." Claire said.

"Well, I know one thing, it wasn't as bad as what happened to my parents." Hidan laughed. "My dad was a total drunkie. He beat me senseless everyday. Then he killed my mom, and got himself killed by the Kage."

"I guess you're right." She then went threw her messenger bag, grabbed a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and ate it.

"Why do you have that in your bag?" Hidan asked.

"Let me eat in your backroom then."

"Fine." Hidan said as she stuffed the sandwich in her mouth, hopped over the counter, and ran into the back room.

"I have no home." Claire stated as he walked in.

"Where do you sleep?"

"A friend's basement." Claire said with a mouth full of sandwich.

"Interesting." Hidan said, eating his fries.

"Hello! Anyone here?"

"Hold on!" Hidan called back as he ran back to the front counter. "Can I help you?"

A teen about fifteen stood before him. He had long black hair and red highlights, a few piercings like Leader's, and a black **Creature Feature **tee shirt.

"Yeah, where are the CD's?" the boy said.

"In back." Hidan said, pointing to where they were.

The kid walked to the back, and came with a stack of CD's, and handed them to Hidan.

'_Creature Feature, Poppa Roach, AC DC, now __these __are things I know about!' _Hidan smiled to himself. "Who may I be addressing?"

"Blake, Blake Harvy." He said, flipping his hair back.

"Got good taste in music." Hidan said. He then noticed Blake looking through his iPod.

"So do you." He said, giving him the iPod back.

"That'll be $25.93." Hidan said.

"Dude! That's an awesome price for five CD's!" Blake smiled as he pulled out his wallet.

"Well, we're not like the other rip off stores." Hidan laughed, handing him his change. Just then, Kakuzu bust through the door.

"Who said the CD's were a good deal!?" Kakuzu yelled, threads ready to strike. Blake hopped behind the counter and grabbed some cash from the register.

"Try to kill me now pussy!" Blake said sticking his tongue out as Kakuzu fell to the floor.

Hidan took a twenty out of the register, hopped over the counter, and waved the money in his face. Kakuzu sprung up and took the money.

"Where'd the kid go?" Kakuzu snarled.

"He left with his stuff." Hidan said. "And he told me you should go to the funny farm."

"When that kid comes back, I'm charging fifty percent more than usual." Kakuzu growled.

Claire came to the front counter.

"Hey Kakuzu, I spent twenty bucks here today! Does that make you feel better?" Claire smiled.

"Yes it does, but why are you behind the counter?"

"'Cause Hidan let me."

"Oh, 'Cause _Hidan _let you! Well, I'm sure you got a discount!" Kakuzu grumbled.

"Shut up you." Hidan scoffed. "It's time to pack up anyway.

--

Well, that night, they pleased Leader with more customers, and more money. $74.62 to be precise.

So they fell asleep, dreaming of many different things. But much to Hidan's surprise, he dreamt about Claire, and wondered to himself, _'What __is __this feeling!?' _

**--**

**Yay! Now, I'm pretty sure you know what belongs to me, but just incase you don't, here they are. Borders, Big Macs, Death Note, Creature Feature, Poppa Roach, AC DC, iPods, and Naruto. I do own these, Claire VanGoph, Blake Harvy, 'How many Akatsuki members does it take to screw in a light bulb' joke, the story line, and the idea. Be sure to review! Domo Arigato and Enjoy! **


	3. Day 3: The Thing

The day started very normally, like usual. Hidan and Kisame were in charge of the counter today.

"Are you sure you won't scare people Kisame?" Hidan sighed. "The last thing we need is Kakuzu on our a**es today."

"Positive." Kisame smiled.

Just then some random dude came in… let's pretend his name is Bob.

"What does Gochikku Hon'ya mean?" Bob asked.

"Gothic Bookstore." Kisame said.

"OMG! Shark dude!!!" yelled Bob as he ran away.

Hidan turned and threw him in the break room with Kakuzu and Sasori. Itachi now ran the counter with Hidan, for fear he do something stupid, like mix Anne Rice up with Stephanie Meyer or something.

Just then, Blake walked in the store oblivious to the world around him.

"One By One, We Bite The Dust, We Kick The Bucket And Begin To Rust, Give Up The Ghost When Your Number's Up, We All Fall Down!" Blake sang as he went to the back room.

"I'll pretend I never heard that." Hidan said wide eyed, Itachi nodding.

Then Claire walked in and heard the terrible, off key singing.

"Just don't ask." Hidan sighed as Claire went searching for books again. When she let out a shriek, Hidan and Itachi ran to where she was.

She stood up from where she was sitting and turned to face them.

"_The Thing…_" she read on the cover. "I've never heard of it before…"

"Read it to me." Hidan said. "This sounds like a good book, MUCH better then the Saw books." Itachi and Claire stared at him again.

"Ok." Claire said as she sat on the floor with them and read the book.

"_The Thing is hungry. He knows you can't hide. You sit on the floor, all cozy inside." _They all stared dumbfounded at the book. "Continue." Hidan sighed.

"_But when The Thing is hungry, you should know. He likes to eat you nice and slow." _"More agonizingly painful that way…" Hidan butted in.

"_The Thing carries it's children safe and sound on it's back. So when they hatch, they eat you for a snack. But don't worry. Don't run away. The Thing isn't real, unless you believe." _Claire finished, closing the book. When Hidan saw Itachi, Claire, and Blake (Don't ask) freaked out, he decided to play a very cruel and mean trick.

"OH JASHIN!!! I BELIEVED!!!" he yelled as Claire started cuddling her plushie of him, Itachi fainted, and Blake started sucking his thumb.

"Ha! I can't believe that thing actually scared you!" Hidan laughed.

"Hidan! That wasn't funny! That was scarier then It and Cujo put together!" Claire said.

"Sorry, I just wanted to see their reactions." Hidan said shifting his gaze to Itachi and Blake. She sighed.

"I guess I can forgive you. Besides, I'll find a way to freak you out one day!" Claire smiled. "Every villain has a weakness!" Hidan thought of her as she said that.

"Yeah right!" Hidan laughed. "When Kakuzu's broke and becomes a Jashinist!"

"I'm not converting to your stupid religion Hidan!" Kakuzu yelled across the counter.

"Oh well, Jashin-sama will forgive you one day." Hidan sighed.

"Guys! It's time to pick up!" Kisame yelled.

--

Claire walked around the basement she lived in.

"There has to be someway to catch Hidan off guard…" she muttered. Just then, there was a clanking noise on the window above her. She ignored it and went to bed.

**--**

**DUN DUN DUN!!! I don't own the following: The song 'A Gorey Demise', Saw, Cujo, It, and Naruto. I own Claire VanGoph, Blake Harvy, ****The Thing**** and the bookstore! No stealing without asking first! Remember to review! **


	4. Day 4: The Mob!

When the Akatsuki came to the bookstore the next morning, they were surprised by a demolished mess.

"I swear to God, un, I didn't do that, yeah." Deidara said dumbfounded.

Then, out of the blue, Kakuzu started having an episode on the sidewalk. Everyone stepped away to give him space. Then he jumped up and started shaking Hidan.

"HOW ELSE ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GET OUR MONEY NOW!!! LEADER'LL KILL US IF HE FINDS OUT!" Kakuzu yelled in his face.

"Calm down Kakuzu. Or do you want to be a part of my collection?" Sasori pushed his way toward him. Kakuzu calmed down a little.

"But… How!?" He stuttered as Sasori strolled into the store, and grabbed a plushie of himself off the shelf, the only thing that wasn't destroyed. He pulled out a mini camera from it's back.

"This is how we'll find out who destroyed our store." Sasori smiled as he sat down and began watching.

--

A few minutes later, Sasori was astounded out of his mind.

"What!?" Kakuzu said.

"House wives. Typical house wives destroyed our store."

"Why?" Itachi said. "Why such hatred toward us?"

"It could be an angry mob 'cause our store's named 'Gothic Bookstore'." Hidan said.

"Gochikku Hon'ya!" Itachi scowled.

"Same only different, dude." Kisame said. "Are you even paying attention Zetsu!?" Zetsu was staring at a couple of woman jogging.

"What?" Zetsu asked. "**You didn't let us have breakfast this morning.**"

Everyone started backing away from Zetsu slowly.

"Ok, then this mob has no right to demolish our store, yeah?" Deidara said.

"One thing's for sure, they'll be sacrificed to Jashin!" Hidan scowled.

"We should go to Tsunade and see what she thinks." Itachi said.

A voice behind them screamed. Sure enough, Claire fell to the ground in shock.

"WHAT HAPPENED!?" Claire squeaked.

"House wives don't like our store, so they burned the books and stuff." Sasori said.

"They shall not live for long…" Claire said as she pulled out a huge katana from her bag and turned around, but Hidan held her in place by holding her collar.

"We're going to rant to Tsunade, so put your blade down." Hidan sighed.

Just then, Blake went into the store, oblivious that it had burned to the ground, and walked to the counter. He noticed the wreckage and started acting worried.

"It was Deidara, I swear!!!" Blake said pointing to him.

Deidara threw a huge piece of rubble at him, but Blake ducked.

"We're leaving children!" Sasori called as the two ran to catch up.

--

"So. Let me get this straight." Tsunade yawned. "Some angry mob burned your store down and you want me to do what?"

"Kill them." Itachi growled.

"Just assign some shinobi to help us build it back up and make sure it doesn't happen again." Sasori said, pushing Itachi out of the way.

"Ok, I have the perfect team!" Tsunade smiled.

--

"Ok, when you said you had the perfect team, you mean put Sasuke in it and let him torture me." Itachi said, Sasuke stabbing his Itachi plush repeatedly, hoping pain would come to his brother if he did so.

"Everything comes with a catch in this world." Tsunade glared at him.

"Whatev- GAHH!" Itachi fell to the ground.

"I GOT HIM!!!" Sasuke laughed.

"So who else do we have?" Sasori asked. Tsunade stood up to introduce the genin.

"This is Sakura Haruno," Tsunade pointed to a pink haired girl as she smiled.

"Tenten," A girl in brown hair buns smiled.

"Kiba Inuzuka and Akamaru," A brown haired boy laughed as his dog barked.

"Ino Yamanaka," A thin girl who looked like Deidara smiled.

"And, Naruto Uzumaki… what are you doing boy!?" Naruto said as he walked in wearing a gangster outfit.

"YO! WAZ UP!?" Naruto yelled. Tsunade slapped him.

"GET YOUR REGULAR CLOTHES ON!!!"

"WHY SHOULD I GRANNY!?"

"TO MAKE A GOOD IMPRESION ON THE BAD GUYS!!"

"WHAT SELF RESPECTING GOOD GUY DO THAT!?"

"'CAUSE IT'S POLITE!!!"

Sasori got tired of waiting, and suddenly, blue chakra strings came from Naruto as his mouth finally shut.

"Don't make me wait for you." Sasori glared as he dropped Naruto, and he finally went to get in his regular clothes.

"I wish I could do that…" muttered Tsunade.

"It takes practice." Sasori said. "and _many _years of unwanted patience."

'_I need to learn that…' _Sakura thought.

--

When Naruto came to the wreckage of the store, a boy was sitting on the sidewalk, watching the construction going on. Naruto decided to walk over and say high.

"Hey!" he smiled and sat down.

"Oh, you're the gansta kid." Blake laughed. "Nice display!"

"Thanks!" Naruto laughed. "What's your name?"

"Blake Harvy. You're Naruto, right?"

"Yeah."

"Hey Jinchuuriki brat!" Itachi yelled. "Let's get moving!"

"I'M NOT A BRAT YOU… WEASEL!!!" Naruto shouted.

"Nice comeback. Now let's get a move on, shall we?" Itachi glared.

"Whatever."

--

An hour passed and it was getting dark. They all then decided to pack up.

Tsunade ordered Kakashi to stand watch, so the store won't collapse again tonight.

--

***Does the Solja Boy dance* Got another chapter done! Remember, I don't own Naruto. I do own Claire VanGoph, Blake Harvy, and Gochikku Hon'ya. Don't use them without asking! Remember to review, so Domo Arigato and Enjoy! **


	5. Day 5: Jashin's Warning!

That morning, Leader woke up early to check to see that the store was in order. Well, he faced a rude awakening when he saw the store being rebuilt, and the mirror ninja, Kakashi Hatake sleeping outside.

Pain knew this wasn't the place, so he looked at his map again. Too bad he was standing in front of the store.

"WHAT THE F**K HAPPENED TO MY STORE!?" he yelled as Kakashi woke up.

--

Deidara woke up, knowing something bad would happen today. He rolled over back to sleep.

--

"YOU IMBECILS!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?" Pain yelled, greeting them at the store unexpectedly.

"Sir," Sasori started.

"NO! TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED!!!"

"A mob destroyed our store,"

"MY STORE!"

"your store, because they were probably Christian faith, and are against Gothicism."

"Gothicism?"

"Goths, Sir."

"I knew that!" Pain pouted. "You underestimate your Leader too much."

"Uh huh. Just dole out the punishments already and get it over with." Hidan sighed.

"So eager are we?" Pain asked. "What's gotten into you sense day one? You haven't been trying to kill us lately."

"I don't know." Hidan sighed. "I'd rather not talk about it."

Then Naruto and the rest of the gang followed behind him.

"Hey guys!" Naruto smiled and waved.

"Good morning son." Pain then realized what he just said. "UH… I mean, GOOD MORNING NARUTO!" Then Pain ran off.

"I sure as god hope Masashi never makes that happen." Itachi said.

"Who's Masashi Itachi-san?" Kisame asked.

But they had all walked off, so he ran after them.

"Are you sure you're OK dude, un?" Deidara asked Hidan.

"Of course." Hidan said. "and if you don't leave me alone, I'll kick your a*s."

"That's the Hidan we know." Itachi said.

--

Now, we take a visit to the Underworld!

A long black haired man sat at a large throne, staring in a crystal ball, showing Hidan and everyone else at that moment. He sighed.

"I knew one day this would happen to you, except not so soon." The man scratched his head to get an itch. "Well, now is better then later I guess."

He stood up and grabbed a scythe, with a skull at the top doused in blood. He sneezed and scratched the scar on his nose.

The man grabbed a black cloak and put it on. He looked in the mirror.

"Ah Jashin! What the h**l are you thinking!? You look like Voldemort!" He slapped himself in the face. "But it'll put a good impression on the mortals at least."

And with that, he disappeared in black flames.

--

Tobi sat on the ground, playing with the plushies that Sasori made for the store, because nobody trusted him with a saw.

"Tobi, you have been a good boy to your sempai, so you get a cookie!" the Leader plush said.

"Aww Leader-sama! You don't have to be so nice!" The Tobi plush said.

Just then, black flames erupted in front of Tobi, and there stood the person from the Underworld. He looked around and stared at Tobi with his blood red eyes.

"Hello, Bonjour, and Hola young child." He said.

"Tobi speaks English." Tobi said after a while.

"Ok young Tobi child. Have you seen a white haired man around with the same cloak as yours?" he asked.

"Are you Hidan's sempai?" Tobi asked.

"Yes, now have you seen him?"

"He's over there." Tobi pointed at the building, and the man walked over quickly.

"So, Twilight is about a vampire and a human who fall in love. Understand?" Claire said.

"And Frankenstein is about the monster?" Hidan asked.

"No, Frankenstein is about the doctor who _created _the monster."

"Ok, and Dracula was based on some dude called Vlad the Impaler."

"Exactly!" Claire sighed. "You finally understand!"

"Can you feel the love tonight?" Kakuzu laughed as Claire threw a punch at his stomach.

"You are so sexist!" Claire growled. "Can't a man an a woman _just _be friends without the whole world calling them a couple!?"

"Excuse me." The black haired man came up to them. "I'm sorry if I'm intruding, but is Hidan here?"

"What do you want dude?" Hidan sighed.

"You don't remember me Hidan?" he sighed. "and after reading my bible so many times?" Hidan sat up quickly.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?" Hidan pointed at him.

"We need to talk in private." He said as he turned around, Hidan following.

"Is that dude gay?" Claire punched Kakuzu in the stomach again.

"IDIOT! If you were listening, he said that Hidan read his bible!"

"He's Christian?"

"NO! Every religion has a bible!" Claire shouted. "Bottom line, that was Jashin!"

Kakuzu stood silent for a minute.

"Then most Jashinists must be women." Kakuzu said. "No way a guy like that would have many guy followers."

"Shut up so we can spy!" Claire ran over to were they were talking.

"What are you talking about Lord!?" Hidan asked.

"I told you. If you get too attached to that woman, I'll have to dispose of her myself." Jashin scowled. "You've read my scriptures. She has to be a Jashinist to be with you."

"But,"

"No buts. I'll give you a week. If she doesn't follow my religion by then, she'll be dispatched by me."

**--**

**OH NOES!!! What will happen to Claire!? Well, I don't own 'Can You Feel The Love Tonight?' or Naruto. I do own Claire, Blake, Gochikku Hon'ya, and my idea what Jashin looks like. Well, be sure to review! Domo Arigato and enjoy!**


	6. Day 6: The Apprentices

Claire sat in her basement, thinking of what Jashin said. '

'_Dispose of me? All because of his stupid religion!? It's so awful!' _Claire thought. _'What's wrong with me!? What's he so worried about!?'_

Claire opened her locket and looked at her parents staring back, smiling.

"Mommy, Daddy? If you can hear me, tell me what's happening. I don't understand at all." Claire sniffed, wiping tears off her face. Then she looked at her Hidan plush and it came to her.

She picked it up, and looked into his violet eyes. Then, her face suddenly got red. She dropped the plushie.

'_Am I… falling for him!?' _

--

Hidan sat on the top of the building, hammering the shingles to the roof. As he was hammering, he thought of his God.

'_What should I do? If I stay with her, Jashin-sama'll kill her. But if she converts, she'll live. But being a Jashinist isn't a piece of cake.' _Hidan thought as he hammered his thumb.

"HOLY F******G JASHIN-SAMA!!!" Hidan yelled as Kakuzu crawled onto the roof to mend his thumb.

"Hidan. Please don't think too hard. It might actually kill you." Kakuzu said sowing his thumb and circulatory system back together.

"Shut the, F**K KAKUZU!!! WATCH WHERE YOU POKE THAT THING!!!"

"Sorry. But you know, It's obvious Jashin has something to do with what you were thinking."

"Whatever."

"Anyway, I think this is the last day of construction."

"Whatever."

"Fine. Be that way." Kakuzu scoffed as he hopped off the roof.

"Ok. I don't need a dead beat like you."

--

Five hours later, construction was finished and they all decided to walk home.

When they reached the house, Sasori, Kisame, and Kakuzu went to increase their stock at the store.

Hidan and Konan were playing Super Smash Brothers Brawl on the couch. Konan had just beat Hidan for the fifth time in a row.

"Hidan, are you just making me feel good 'cause I never win at this, or do you have an emotional problem your dealing with?" Konan said, hands on her hips.

"…No!" Hidan said.

"Uh huh, and Samus just suddenly gained levels overnight?"

"Nuh uh! Snake is just having a bad day! He told me so!"

"Whatever. When you're feeling better, call me back in so we can play fair and square." Konan said, walking out on him.

He sighed and plugged in My Sims. He deleted Kakuzu's account to create his own, and began to play.

--

"So what? I'm still a billionaire…" Kakuzu sang as he walked into the living room to see Hidan playing My Sims.

"You still messing around with Pink's songs?" Hidan laughed. "So what I'm a billionaire? Please!"

"They're better then stupid Crazy Train or Diary of Jane songs."

"Hey! You must be the one driving a f*****g Crazy Train if you don't like those songs!" Hidan yelled.

"You just took that from the World of Warcraft commercial with Ozzy in it."

"Which was awesome!"

"Whatever. Who's saved game did you overwrite?" Kakuzu said, changing subject.

"Yours."

"_Excuse ME?_" Kakuzu glared.

"Your aunts." Hidan said.

"My aunt died when I was five! That's why I'm a billionaire today dope! Let me guess, you actually erased my Trillionaire Sim!!!"

"Yeah."

"You are such a b***h dude."

"I know I am!" Hidan smiled.

--

As night fell on the mortal world, an giant hourglass began to lose sand every second.

"This is too easy!" Jashin laughed, opening a bottle of champagne. "I thought they would put up more of a fight then this."

"And we've got front row seats!" a teen laughed, grabbing a wine cooler from the floor.

"Shut up Eiji." Jashin scowled at the boy. "If you want to be an apprentice, you have to be useful, like your twin brother Kazuhiko and your sister Kimiko."

"Aww c'mon! How come nothin' we ever do is fun?"

"It's _Anything _Eiji." Kimiko scowled. "You were born last, so you're the future king, h**l! Your name means excellent secondson or splendid ruler! You disgust me."

"Hey! Shut up and go to bed! All of you!" Jashin growled. They left for their room.

"Jashin! Can't drink a nice bottle of booze without a 'You disgust me!' or Eiji's complaining!" Jashin smashed the empty bottle against the wall and fell asleep.

--

**OMG!!! More peoples! Ok, I don't own Super Smash Brothers Brawl, Samus, Snake, My Sims, 'So What', 'Crazy Train', 'Diary of Jane', World of Warcraft, and Naruto. I own Claire VanGoph, Blake Harvy, my idea of what Jashin looks and acts like, Eiji, Kimiko, Kazuhiko, and Gochikku Hon'ya. Please don't use them without my permission first! Remember to review! Domo Arigato and enjoy!**


	7. Day 7: Eiji and the Mortal World

In the Underworld, Jashin had a huge hangover and was watching South Park reruns. Eiji had woken up and began pouring Lucky Charms in a bowl. He went in the fridge to get the milk and took it out and poured it in the bowl. Large clumps that smelled of dead animals fell into the bowl.

"Jashin-sama! We need more milk!" he yelled into the living room.

"Well, ask Cartman for some!" Jashin yelled back, hiccupping.

"Ok! I'm going to the store!" Eiji told him as he walked out the door.

"And make sure Kenny doesn't die!" Jashin pointed to the toaster.

"Will do!" He grabbed the toaster and left.

--

An hour later, Jashin was off his hangover. Kimiko walked out of her room and saw the clumpy mush in a bowl and walked into the living room.

"Are you ok Jashin?" she whispered.

"Duh."

"Did you get sick?"

"Not that I know of."

"Then what's the mush in the bowl that smells like s**t?" Kimiko placed her hands on her hips.

"Oh yeah, Eiji went to the store to get more milk, but he brought the toaster with him."

Kazuhiko walked into the kitchen, avoiding the bowl of mush on the table and grabbing an apple off the counter.

"Why in h**l would he do that!?" Kimiko shouted.

Kazuhiko took a bite of the apple. He spit it out and saw the cicada he bit into.

"Probably while I was on my hangover, I told him to do something..." but he was interrupted by the sound of Kazuhiko being sick.

"Kazu!" Kimiko ran into the kitchen.

"He'd better have made it on the linoleum!" Jashin yelled.

--

That same morning, Hidan was working the register with Deidara.

Deidara was doing most of the work, though. But that meant more time for Hidan to think about what he was going to do about Jashin. Then Hidan had an idea. He could work out his troubles with a song.

Deidara started to stare at Hidan.

"Wow, un. I never knew you write!" Deidara said.

"I'm writing a song." Hidan said.

"You don't look like a singer, yeah!"

"I was in a band in high school." Hidan sighed, looking up from his work. "I was lead guitar."

"What was the band's name?"

"Anonymous." Hidan said. "We played everywhere."

"Cool, yeah!"

"Until Brody got married and left us to rot." Hidan scoffed. "The b***h never really cared what happened to us anyway."

"That sucks, un."

"Seriously, he kept complaining about everything." Hidan went back to his work.

--

Eiji was walking around the village supermarket and awed at the mortals technology. He grabbed a carton of milk and checked it out at the counter.

While he was walking to his portal home, but noticed a store named **Gochikku Hon'ya**. He decided to go in.

"Welcome to our store, un!" Deidara welcomed Eiji.

"Hey." He smiled. He was glad _somebody _was happy with him, unlike his spoiled seventeen year old sister.

"Deidara, what rhymes with orange?" Hidan asked.

"I don't think anything rhymes with," Eiji started.

"Door hinge." Deidara said.

"Where'd you get that from!?" Hidan asked.

"Drake and Josh." Deidara said.

"Ok…" Eiji said as he walked around the store.

He stopped when he saw a Jashinist necklace on the table.

"You sell merchandise of Jashin-sama?" he asked Hidan.

"Yeah, why? Are you a Jashinist?"

"Uh huh." Eiji smiled. "Actually, an apprentice."

"Impressive."

"Yeah." Eiji laughed.

Just then, Kimiko ran into the store.

"WHAT THE F**K ARE YOU _DOING _HERE!?!" she grabbed him by the ear and turned to Hidan.

"I hope he didn't cause any trouble." She smiled.

"No, he was no trouble at all." Kakuzu ran from the back room. "None at all."

"Ok. Good bye!" Kimiko hurried out the door, Kakuzu still watching her.

"She's a Jashinist Kakuzu." Hidan sighed.

"OMG!" Kakuzu smashed his head on the counter.

"Ha ha!" Deidara laughed. "Kakuzu has a crush on a Jashinist!"

"Not anymore!" Kakuzu yelled, going into the back room again.

--

At the end of the day, Hidan was wondering where Claire was. Blake didn't even show up that day either. He was starting to wonder what had happened to them.

**--**

**Yo! Another chapter done! Good thing my Mom has a laptop, or else I would be stuck up in my room being sick. I don't own South Park, Cartman, Kenny, Naruto, and Drake and Josh. I do own Eiji, Kimiko, Kazuhiko, Claire VanGoph, Blake Harvy, my idea of Jashin, Hidan's band 'Anonymous', and Gochikku Hon'ya. Be sure to review! Domo Arigato and enjoy!**


	8. Day 8: Hidan's Challenge!

Claire woke up that morning, dazed and confused. What had happened yesterday? Had she fallen back asleep? No, she played video games until she was completely bored and fell asleep.

'_Why didn't I go to there yesterday?' _Claire thought. _'Am I afraid of Jashin and what he might do to Hidan and me?' _

"That's IT!" Claire half shouted, jumping out of bed. "If I stay here, it proves I'm a baby about this all! I've had a good life so why not put it on the line! Have an adventure! If I don't survive, oh well! I'd have lived a great life!"

As she ran out the door though, in the Underworld, Jashin began to smile.

"Live life to the fullest?" he cackled. "Well, I suppose that could be your dieing wish. Kimiko. Kazuhiko. Go fulfill her wish.

"Yes Jashin-kun." Kimiko smiled while Kazuhiko nodded. "I hope she likes her wish!"

--

Claire walked into the store with a determined look on her face.

'_Ok Claire. This isn't going to be a Shojo manga. It's the real world!' _Claire said to herself as she bumped into Hidan.

"Hey! Where were you yesterday? Blake never showed either, so it was pretty boring while you were gone. Well, except for some Jashinists that came." Hidan smiled.

"I was really tired and didn't feel well, so today I'm getting some exercise." Claire lied.

"Oh, hope you feel better!" Hidan ruffled her hair. She blew a strand out of her face.

"You seem happy today." Claire said.

"Well yeah, you're back so you can read me something." Hidan said.

"Oh, ok." Claire gave in and pulled a book out of her bag.

"What's that?"

"Twilight." Claire said. "If you finish it, we can watch the movie!"

"There's a movie?"

"Just came out, so you'd better hurry."

"What's with this 'me' stuff? You have to help me!"

"I know."

Then they sat down and began to read.

Meanwhile, Kimiko and Kazuhiko stood on the hill overlooking the village.

"Here we are Kazu." Kimiko laughed.

Kazuhiko stood in silence.

"Well, let's bring h**l!" Kimiko cackled as her hair began to poof up in black flames.

"Don't be hasty." Kazuhiko finally said. Her flames died down.

"Alright. Have it your way Kazu." Claire said. "Let me know when you want to go fulfill dreams."

--

"I'm totally confused." Hidan sighed. "Can't we just watch the movie?"

"Fine. You obviously can't get it through your head without seeing it." Claire stood up and grabbed tickets out of her bag.

"Tickets already!?"

"I knew you would do something like this, so I bought them in advance." Claire sighed.

"You know me and my brain very well." Hidan said while standing on his head.

"Let's go." Claire said.

"Hold on, gotta tell Kakuzu first." Hidan stood up and waited. "He said it was ok!" Claire laughed.

"Ok then." Claire smiled, grabbing Hidan's hand and walking out the door.

--

Kimiko and Kazuhiko walked up to the store, Kimiko's eyes flaming. Kazuhiko was still cool as a cucumber.

As they walked into the store, Kakuzu stopped cursing and looked up.

'_Oh God! Her again!' _he sighed.

Kimiko leaned over the counter and grabbed Kakuzu by the collar.

"Where's the one's they call Hidan and Claire?" she scowled.

"If I knew ma'am, I would have killed him already." Kakuzu said as he thanked his lucky stars that his mask covered up most of his blush.

"Oh really?" she whispered. "How do I know you aren't lying?"

"Isn't my word enough?" Kakuzu started to feel uneasy.

"No." she smiled as she pulled his mask down. "And I know just how to get the answer."

"Enough." Kazuhiko said. "He obviously doesn't know where they are, and there's no need to torture him for not knowing. We'll just check the village."

"Whatever." Kimiko let Kakuzu faint to the floor. "Let's go."

--

There was only ten minutes left on the movie. Hidan was leaning on his seat to see what happened next.

'_Great. You have no guts Hidan. She's sitting there and you can't say anything to her. Nice job pussy.' _Hidan sighed. It was the last part in the movie and decided if he was going to make his move, he do it now.

Claire looked at Hidan and was wondering why he was looking at her like that. Then Hidan placed his lips on hers. Claire's face became red hot, but then she kissed him back.

--

"Where the h**l could they be!?" Kimiko shouted as she threw a trash can at a wall.

Kazuhiko sighed. _'Must she be so ruthless?' _

Kimiko's phone began to ring. It was Jashin.

"Hello?"

"Come back home. This doesn't concern you two anymore." Jashin sounded angry.

"What happened?" Kimiko asked.

"He challenged me. If they want to live life to the fullest, then I should be the one to grant it."

**--**

**Aww! And UH OH! I don't own Twilight or Naruto. I do own Eiji, Kimiko, Kazuhiko, my idea of what Jashin looks like, Claire VanGoph, Blake Harvy, and Gochikku Hon'ya. Be sure to review! Domo Arigato and enjoy! **


	9. Day 9: Tim Burton, The Movie Genius

The next day, Kakuzu woke up to somebody pushing him awake.

"Kakuzu! Wake up dude!" Blake shoved him more.

"NO! I wanna be a billionaire!" Kakuzu mumbled.

"We aren't watching it right now." Blake kicked him. Kakuzu sat up quickly.

"What the f**k are you doing boy!?" Kakuzu scowled.

"You fell asleep on the floor." Blake said.

"Where'd you get the keys!?"

"Under the doormat, dude."

"D****t! I thought it was a good place to hide the keys!"

"Next time, buy a bird house and put them in it." Blake stood up.

The door opened and the Akatsuki came in and stared at Blake and Kakuzu.

"How'd…" Itachi began.

"Never mind."

"Anybody know why I fell asleep on the floor?" Kakuzu asked.

"Let's look at the security camera." Sasori said as he grabbed a chair and reached for the security camera.

"Hm. Two teens… maybe even a twelve year old just came in. The girl grabbed Kakuzu by the collar and… um…" Sasori began to get red.

"What!?" Hidan looked over Sasori's shoulder and laughed. "Who in h**l would ever do that!? Ha ha ha!!!"

"Shut the f**k up." Kakuzu glared at him.

"Ok then… The boy says something to the girl and Kakuzu faints as they walk out…" Sasori finished.

"I did not! And FYI, where were all of you then!?" Kakuzu said.

"On lunch break." Itachi sighed.

"For five hours!?"

"We couldn't find you so we assumed you left to go home." Kisame said.

"And when I wasn't there!?"

"Bank." They said in unison.

"Whatever." Kakuzu groaned as he walked into the back room. Then Claire walked in.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Some guys came and tortured Kakuzu." Hidan laughed.

"Funny!" Claire smiled.

"NOT!!!" Kakuzu yelled.

"Yeah it is!" Hidan laughed so much he fell to the floor.

"I hope you die!" Kakuzu yelled.

"So do I!" Hidan laughed.

Claire sighed. "Boys..."

--

Kimiko sat in front of the TV while watching Spongebob with Kazuhiko and Eiji.

"Are you ready to go crazy!?" Spongebob yelled.

"I'm already hearing voices!" Patrick yelled as Eiji laughed and Kazuhiko chuckled.

"I don't find what's so funny about this." Kimiko sighed.

"Of course _you_ wouldn't get it. You're too _old_." Eiji laughed.

"What'd ya call me you little brat!?" Kimiko yelled.

"SHUT UP!!!" Jashin yelled.

"What's up with Jashin-sama?" Eiji asked.

"I don't know." Kimiko said. "He was angry when he called me yesterday."

"He said they challenged him." Kazuhiko grumbled.

"Who's they?"

"You're so stupid. Hidan and Claire." Kimiko scowled.

"Ah."

Jashin then came out of his room and took a leather cape off the wall and put it on.

"Does this look evil enough?" Jashin asked.

"Hold on!" Kimiko said as she began straightening his collar and fixing his hair.

"You don't have to be motherly about it." Jashin blushed as the boys began to snicker.

"And I'm supposed to let this place rot to the ground?" Kimiko asked.

"That's what an evil lair is supposed to look like, not a cozy little cottage!" Jashin scowled.

"Then how will you live if I was gone?" Kimiko questioned.

"TV dinners and McDonalds."

"You'll get fat."

"I'll buy a treadmill." Jashin pouted.

"Whatever." Kimiko finally let Jashin go and he ran out the door.

"Don't you dare decide to clean my room!" he yelled as he walked out.

"Oh I plan to!" she smiled as he shut the door.

"Word of the wise Kimi, don't flirt with a guy who's at least a million years old." Eiji said as Kazuhiko laughed.

"Shut up!" Kimiko yelled.

"Kimi-chan, you do tend to flirt with guys older then you, like that dude in the store!" Kazuhiko laughed.

"Quiet you!" Kimiko growled. "That was to get information out of him!"

"Right…" Eiji laughed as Kimiko pile drove him into the carpet.

--

"Read me another story!" Hidan smiled.

"Alright, I don't have the book, so I'll just give you a story based on the movie." Claire said.

"What's the story called?" Blake asked.

"The Nightmare Before Christmas." She smiled.

"Pshaw! C'mon, that's a baby movie!" Blake laughed.

"Shut up! Tim Burton was a movie genius! Have you ever watched Sweeny Todd?"

"No, 'cause it's a musical." Blake yawned.

"Well, Tim Burton did that!"

"Whatever, just tell us the story." Hidan sighed.

"Ok. Once upon a time…"

"Must all stories start like that?"

"Just shut up Blake." Hidan groaned.

"Once upon a time, there was a town filled with ghosts, goblins, clowns, all those sorts of things. They were celebrating Halloween their way, and then a being named Jack Skellington, king of the pumpkin patch…"

"If he's called Jack _Skellington_, why the h**l is he the king of some dinky little pumpkin patch!?" Hidan protested.

"Shut up! It's just his name!" Claire shouted.

"Anyway, he did his usual performance for Halloween, and wandered aimlessly in the forest."

"Oh Zero, I'm just tired of doing the same thing every year." He told his ghost dog, but then he walked into a strange place surrounded by trees."

"It's called a forest." Blake sighed.

"With special pictures on them. One had an Easter egg, another had a turkey on it. But Jack decided to open another tree, one with a present on it." Claire said.

"Closing time!" Kakuzu yelled.

"Well, I guess this is a story for another day, I guess." Claire got up and walked out the door.

"I still think it's lame." Blake sighed.

"'Cause it was made in stop motion stupid." Kakuzu looked down on him. "Now get out."

"Whatever." Blake said as he walked out.

Blake noticed Claire walking home, but there was a guy walking behind her. He wore a high leather cape and a black hat. When the man saw him watching, he crossed the road and walked the other way.

"Stupid kid." Jashin scowled as he walked home. "He'll be next on my list."

--

When Jashin came home, Eiji and Kazuhiko were watching Family Guy.

"Where's Kimiko?" Jashin asked, sitting on the couch.

"Cleaning your room or something." Eiji said. Jashin fell of the couch and ran into his room.

"AH HA!" Jashin said as he pointed to Kimiko who was sitting on his bed watching South Park. "Wait, what!?"

"I'm watching TV 'cause the boys are watching stupid and immature baby shows." Kimiko said.

"And South Park isn't immature?"

"It's rated mature because it isn't stupid."

"Whatever." Jashin picked Kimiko up and threw her on the sofa.

"I'm sleeping now, so ya'll shut up." Jashin said as he walked back to his room.

"I still think he's too old for you." Eiji said as Kimiko punched him in the stomach.

**--**

**Haven't **_**you **_**ever thought why Jack Skellington is the king of the pumpkin patch? I don't own 'Who wants to be a Millionaire?', Spongebob, McDonalds, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Sweeny Todd, Jack Skellington, Zero, Family Guy, South Park, and Naruto. I do own Eiji, Kazuhiko, Kimiko, my idea of what Jashin looks like, Claire VanGoph, Blake Harvy, and Gochikku Hon'ya. Please remember to review! Domo Arigato and enjoy!**


	10. Day 10: Jack Sparrow and the Comiccon?

That morning, Claire had gotten out of bed and punched the air.

"Thank GOD it's Friday!" she smiled. "I wonder what special thing I should go do tonight…"

She walked over to a cupboard and grabbed a granola bar.

"But I can't celebrate yet. I only have three days to live, or what Jashin says I have, anyway." She laughed.

"And that's all true." A voice came from behind her. She began to turn around slowly. Hidan laughed.

"Ha! You should've seen the look on your face!" Hidan laughed. 

"That wasn't funny!" Claire yelled. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"I wanna hear what happens next." Hidan said.

"Alright, but you have to wait outside while I get dressed!" Claire pushed Hidan towards the door.

"Duh!" Hidan said. "…Are you sure I can't stay down here?" he laughed.

"I'm sure!" She pushed him out the door.

"Jashin! Can't she take a joke?" he pouted.

--

That same morning in the Underworld…

"EIJI!!! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!!" Kimiko yelled as she chased her brother.

Jashin walked out of his room, for some reason dressed like a pirate and put Kimiko in a chokehold.

"What are you doing, love?" he said in an English accent.

"Killing my brother." Kimiko blushed. "And what are _you_ doing?"

"Cosplaying Captain Jack Sparrow, love." Jashin said as he let her go. "Now, where's the rum!?"

--

"Ok, are we ready?" Claire asked Hidan and Blake.

"Let's get it over with." Blake yawned.

"So, Jack decided to got to the door with the tree on it." Claire said.

"The trees have doors?" Blake asked. Claire ignored him and went on with the story.

"When he went inside, he stepped into a world of Christmas." Claire said. "He then went back to his town and told the people what he saw. Shall I go into song?"

"Can I boo you if I don't like it?" Blake asked.

"Fine." Claire sighed. "There were objects so peculiar, They were not believed, All around, Things that tantalize my brain!"

"BOO!" Blake yelled as Hidan wooted.

"Thank you for your constructed criticism." Claire said.

"The towns people never got it, so Jack was having, what you'd say, depression and anxiety." Claire continued. "And then, he finally decided to take over Christmas with the help of three little kids named Lock, Shock, and Barrel."

"Are they like the three stooges or something?" Blake questioned.

Clare stood up. "If you don't like it, then me and Hidan are going to a comic-con!" She yelled as she dragged Hidan out the door.

"Finally!" Blake sighed. He sat for a moment, then walked off, singing 'This is Halloween'.

--

Hidan sat for a while at the comic-con, where Claire was chatting to famous Manga artists whom she said were Tite Kubo and Masashi Kishimoto.

"Jeez, these famous people are total show-offs. I mean, what did Kishimoto ever do for the world?" Hidan complained.

He glanced over and saw somebody dressed up as Jack Sparrow, and posing for fans.

"And now Jack is in an anime too!? What in the world are they thinking?"

But, as you all know, Hidan's brain can only store so much information at once. So, he would have never guessed it was Jashin posing for fan girls.

--

An hour later, Claire and Hidan walked home. When they got to Claire's house, they hugged and Hidan walked home alone.

"Another one bites the dust, another one bites the dust…" Hidan began to sing, but stopped when he had the weird feeling he was being watched.

"Oh, yeah." Hidan started. "Claire has only a couple of days to live, now."

"That's right." A voice said behind him.

Hidan turned around and saw "Jack Sparrow".

"OMG!!!!" Hidan screamed and ran, leaving the real Jack Sparrow to sit and wonder.

--

**HAHA! Lol. I do not own Naruto, Bleach, The Nightmare Before Christmas, or Jack Sparrow. I do own Claire VanGoph, Blake Harvy, The way Jashin looks, Eiji, Kimiko, and Kazuhiko. Domo Arigato and enjoy!**


	11. Day 11: The Kidnapper and the Kidnapped!

Hidan woke the next morning, tired and annoyed. He went to the bathroom.

Kakuzu rolled over in bed dreaming of money and whatever Kakuzu's think of when a 'Crash, F**k, Ow' noise came from the bathroom and woke him up. He tried to go back to sleep, but found it was now impossible.

Kakuzu walked through the halls with his robe and made his way for the kitchen. The only other person up at this time in the morning and ready to go was Itachi. Itachi looked up from his coffee.

"You aren't usually awake this early." Itachi said in between sips.

"Let's just say Sunshine's up." Kakuzu groaned as he poured himself some coffee and sat across from Itachi.

Itachi chuckled. "You aren't usually awake unless you have something on your mind. Am I right?"

Kakuzu glared at Itachi and sighed. "It's the 2nd day Claire's got to live, right?"

"If I'm correct." He said as he glanced as Konan walked into the room.

"Arrgh." she mumbled as she poured some coffee for herself and sat down. "How can you people be up this early? It's a Saturday for Pete's Sake!"

"Just because you don't have to work, you shouldn't complain. You have the TV to yourself for hours." Itachi commented back.

"That's what _you _think." Konan mumbled as she drank her coffee.

-flashback-

"_Konan! I want to watch my show!" Pain yelled as he grabbed the clicker from Konan._

"_HEY! I was watching that!" Konan yelled as she took the clicker from Pain and changed it back to __Buffy._

"_No Way!" Pain took the clicker again and changed it to __Family Guy._

"_That's it!" Konan said as the fight for the clicker turned into an all out war._

-flashback over-

"I see…" Itachi said as Kakuzu tried his best to keep from laughing. At that moment, Hidan walked into the room.

"Kakuzu! Help me!" he said as blood trickled down his forehead and arms.

"Jeez! What'd you hurt yourself with this early?" Kakuzu groaned.

"That aftershave crap." Hidan complained. "I don't want a beard, and everyone says you have to use aftershave, so I did, and it hurts like H**l."

"Kudos Sherlock." Konan sipped.

"So!? You're just a girl!" Hidan yelled.

"JUST A GIRL!?" Konan yelled.

Pain and the rest of the Akatsuki came in wearing pj's and rubbing their eyes.

"What the H**l do you think you're doing at this hour!?" Pain said while massaging his temples.

"Don't ask." Itachi said as he got up and went to sit in the living room with his second cup of coffee.

Pain sighed. "Fine, since everyone is up, somebody make breakfast." he said while he eyed Konan.

"Oh no! I folded all your clothes yesterday! I want no crap from any of you!" Konan growled.

"I'll make breakfast, Un!" He quickly said while sensing the acward moment.

--

Later that day, Claire was taking a walk to the café up town. She sighed contently and made her way past Ichiraku Ramen and stopped. She sighed and went to Ichiraku's instead.

"Welcome Claire!" Ichiraku welcomed her. "What'll it be today?"

"Oh, the usual." Claire sighed as she put her head on the table and took a look at the guy sitting next to her.

He was tall, and wore a big black cape that covered his eyes. He seemed impatient by the way his fingers thumped against the table. When his bowl came, he quickly started to eat, but didn't put his hood down.

'_These people are so rude…' _Claire thought as her Ramen came and she quickly devoured it. She thanked Ichiraku and left. The man left too.

She walked calmly, figuring the man would turn, but after all the twists and turns she made, he still followed. She tried not to look back, for fear she make eye contact and get sucked in some Genjutsu.

She reached for a kunai in her bag as the man wrapped his arm around her waist and covered her mouth with the other.

"You're coming with me Claire…" the name rolled against his tongue with a taste of disgust. Claire realized who this man was.

'_Jashin!'_

--

Hidan sat in the store now, listening to his ipod and singing. He looked around and made sure no one was listening.

"This time, I wonder what it feels like, to find the one in this life, The one we all dream of, when dreams just enough. So I'll be waiting for the real thing, I'll know it by the feeling…" He began and stopped as Blake ran in with blood trickling down his forehead and fell over and began breathing heavily.

"What the H**l!?" Hidan yelled as he hopped the counter and turned him face up. Kakuzu, Kisame, and Deidara followed.

"What happened, Un!?" Deidara asked.

"I don't know!!" Hidan yelled as Itachi came in and put a finger on his lips.

Itachi walked over to Blake and checked his pulse. "He encountered a really strong ninja…"

"Dur Weasel!" Hidan yelled. "When'd ya think that?"

Blake cleared his throat and whispered in Itachi's ear. Itachi's eyes widened. And he stood up, causing Blake's head to fall on the floor.

"We need to talk to Leader!!" Itachi yelled. "NOW!!!"

--

The Akatsuki came back, Kakuzu carrying Blake. Kakuzu threw Blake on the couch and went to look for the Leader with everyone else.

--

"Come on Konan! Can't you do this one thing for me?" Pain begged.

"Out of the question!" Konan turned and folded her arms.

"It'll only take a minute!" Pain said.

"No." Konan said. "I've done enough stuff for you today!"

Pain then takled Konan as Hidan opened the door. Hidan stood there for a minute, and saw that Pain was on top of Konan, fighting over a box of Band-aids. Pain then saw Hidan and fell off the basement couch.

"WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE!?!?" Pain screamed, flustered.

"We had to talk to you, but I see this isn't a good time…" Hidan began as he started to close the door, but Pain caught it with his foot.

"What?"

--

"What happened!?" Pain yelled.

"We told you. Some dude in a black cape took Claire-"

"Who's Claire?" Pain asked.

"One of our customers." Itachi continued. "He took Claire and Blake tried to stop him but now he's in this state."

"What'd he look like?"

"Blake said he had maroon colored eyes, and a red triangular birthmark under his right eye." Itachi said. Pain stared at Itachi with disbelief in his eyes. Pain got up and began to pace.

"It can't be who I think it is…" Pain mumbled.

"Who!?" Hidan yelled. Pain looked at him and pulled some gum out of his pocket and gestured for him to take some. Hidan groaned and took 2 pieces.

"Who?" Itachi said at a much lower volume then Hidan.

Pain stared at Hidan.

"What? Stop staring at me!" Hidan said. "I'm not gay!" But Itachi got it.

"So it's-"

"YES!?!" Hidan said.

"It seems my old colleauge has come back to make everyone's life hell." Pain sighed.

"WHO!?!?!!?" Hidan screamed in Itachi's face.

"JASHIN YOU DUMB***K!!!!" Itachi screamed back. Hidan fell over the back of the couch.

"What? You asked." Itachi said, recomposing himself.

Hidan climbed back over the couch. "That was uncalled for…" but Pain suddenly got up and walked downstairs to the basement.

"Hey! I was talking to you!" Hidan yelled after him, but everybody already left, so he followed, cursing under his breath.

--

Pain unlocked the door that was always locked in the basement. As he opened it, he motioned for everyone to be careful. He walked in, and walked down a hallway full of doors, saying things like, 'Inuyasha', 'Pokemon', 'Bleach', and 'Avatar' on pieces of lined paper and stapled to the doors.

"What's up with this, yeah?" Deidara asked, awestruck.

"I've never seen anything like this before…" Kisame whispered.

"OMG! This door says Family Guy!" Hidan laughed.

Itachi sighed. "Of course it says that, this is the portal room."

"Portal Room!?" Everyone asked.

"Yes." Pain answered. "This room came with the house. All the previous owner did was gave me the keys to the room and said "Be careful." And then he ran as fast as he could."

"You've got to be kidding me. Tellitubbies!?" Kakuzu asked.

"It has portals to every place you desire to be." Pain said. "Even if it's Dora."

"Wiered…" Hidan said as he bumped into Kakuzu. He looked around and read what it said on the door they stood in front of.

"To Hell?" Hidan asked. "What's up with that!?"

Pain turned. "Kakuzu." Kakuzu looked up. "Kisame." Kisame looked at Leader. "Itachi." Itachi stood firm. "Deidara." Deidara straightened up. "And Hidan." Hidan stopped laughing at his Family Guy jokes. "Are you ready?"

"Ready for what, un!?" Deidara stuttered.

"THIS!!!" Pain opened the door and braced himself behind it.

Itachi understood what to do and grabbed Kisame and pulled him with him through the portal. Kakuzu followed his lead and grabbed Deidara's hand and Hidan's arm and jumped through with Hidan's cussing going on.

Pain closed the door and stood with his back against it.

"Good luck to you all." Pain said in between breaths.

--

Itachi fell feet first as everybody else fell on top of each other. People stared at them. They had a very scary appearance to them.

"Owie!!!" Hidan sniffed.

"Suck it up for now guys. We have to blend in." Itachi said.

"That's easy dude!" Hidan said. "Let me tell you what you have to do."

--

The Akatsuki now went on without shirts or their cloaks and walked around.

"Oh I'm _SUCH _A Badass!" Hidan said loud enough for everyone to hear. "I died because I was hanged for killing a litter of puppies!"

"Wow, that's harsh." A big gruff guy said. "I got ran over by a truck."

"Yeah…" Hidan said as he coaxed everyone to keep moving.

"This is starting to make me feel real uncomfortable…" Kakuzu whispered as he watched the girls eying him.

"Enjoy it while it lasts, dude!" Deidara said as he flexed his muscles for the women. Itachi dragged him away.

"We have no time to flirt." Itachi said.

"It's like midnight already guys." Kisame said. "We should turn in for the night."

"Fine…" Itachi said. And they all layed down and looked up to the sky, and eventually fell asleep. Hidan doubtfuly looked up at the sky and asked himself: _'Where are you Claire?' _before he fell asleep.

--

Well, Claire was tied up to a chair next to Jashin in his tourure chambers. Jashin was looking into his crystal ball and scowled.

"Well, looks like the idiot brigade is here to save you. Oh well, I'll still win in the end." Jashin laughed. He then left the room and left Claire on her own.

Claire then chose that exact moment to break down. She didn't want Jashin to see, for fear he call her a baby.

'_Where in hell are you…!?'_

**--**

**Yay! Another Chapter finished, and a long one too! You know what I don't own, but I do own Claire VanGoph, Blake Harvy, The way Jashin looks, Eiji, Kimiko, Kazuhiko, and the Portal Room! Bye bye for next time!**

**Check me out at !**


	12. Day 12: We're simply meant to be

**Authors Notes: Well, this is the last chapter of the actual Gochikku Hon'ya story. This is going to be a long one (since this all happens in a day) Thank you all for following this story, I never thought it would such a big hit with you all! There are some references in this chapter to Tim Burton, Johnny Depp, and The Simpsons, so see if you can find them! Claire VanGoph, Blake Harvy, Eiji, Kazuhiko, Kimiko, and Jashin's character idea are all mine. I defiantly don't own Danny Elfman's Finale/Reprise song from the Nightmare Before Christmas Soundtrack. If you wish to see more of my drawings and videos, go to Google and search TheOnlyChar739 and Char739. Thanks a bunch again for loving and enjoying my annoying 'children' Claire and Blake, and I hope to see you all next sequel! **

Kakuzu turned over in his sleep. He was dreaming of a Cat hissing.

'_What the hell…' _Kakuzu thought as he opened his eyes to find Hidan with a small kitten pointed at him.

"He doesn't like people with tentacles like the ones in hentai." Hidan said as the kitten continued to hiss.

"I think he wants you to put him down." Kakuzu said as he rolled over.

"Nuh uh." Hidan said. The cat continued to spaz out.

"Aww, isn't this cute!" Hidan said. "He's biting me!"

"Good. I hope he kills you." Kakuzu mumbled.

Hidan decided to let the cat go. When he did, it attacked his head.

"ZOMG! WTF!" Hidan yelled as the others woke up. Itachi calmly took the cat off Hidan's head and began to pet it. It even allowed him to rub his belly.

"Sure, the Uchiha is Doctor Dolittle now!" Hidan complained as Itachi watched the cat run off.

"Eh." Itachi mumbled as he put his cloak back on.

"Well, let's go, yeah." Deidara said, but before he could take his first step, he saw something that made him stop.

"What is it dude?" Kisame asked, but he then saw it.

The rest of them turned around. There stood Eiji on one of the huge rocks, a spear in his hand.

"Who's that kid?" Deidara asked.

"He looks like the kid who was with the one girl at the store." Kakuzu

"He's the kid who came in and said he was an apprentice of Jashin-Sama…" Hidan said.

Eiji stood up. He wore a black bandana over his dirty blonde hair. He wore a lime green long sleaved shirt complimented with black biker jeans and boots.

He stared at them with redemption in his blue eyes. He wanted to take care of them so everyone would see him as a great person, instead of a pest, like Kimiko thought he was.

He raised his spear in front of him and began to power up. Chakra rushed around his spike, and it changed to a sky blue color, like his eyes.

"STAND YOUR GROUND!" Itachi yelled as the Chakra swirling around Eiji grew faster and faster. Deidara reached for his clay, and Hidan began to take out his scythe.

"HERE I COME!" Eiji yelled as the light emanating from the spear became blindingly bright. He tore down the rock, at a tremendous speed, the pike making a straight, fine line through the rock.

"_So, you're the kids whose father dumped you on me." Jashin scowled at younger versions of Eiji, Kazuhiko, and Kimiko._

_Kimiko was only 7 at the time, and both Eiji and Kazuhiko were 5 years old._

"_Yes sir." Kimiko said as she bowed in respect to him._

"_You all look weak. No wonder your father left you in my hands." Jashin said._

Itachi started up his Sharingan as Kisame picked his sword off the ground.

_Eiji fell to the ground when Jashin's hand collided with the side of his head._

"_Just as I thought. You're just a spineless little baby, abandoned by his mommy and daddy…"_

"_DON'T TALK ABOUT THEM THAT WAY!" Eiji yelled through his sobs._

"_If you want me to stop, why don't you do something about it?" Jashin smiled. But Eiji laid there, because he knew nothing of the ninja world._

Kakuzu stood his ground.

"_What do you think you're doing Eiji!" Kimiko yelled at his brother._

"_I'm trying to help you clean your room, like you told me…"_

"_You're doing it all wrong!" She yelled. "You don't even deserve to be related to me."_

A tear trickled down Eiji's face.

"_Why do you even try?" Jashin said._

"_Why don't you train for once?" Kazuhiko mumbled._

"_Get away from me!" Kimiko yelled._

"I WILL FINALLY EARN MY PLACE!" Eiji yelled as his spike was pointed toward the group.

It was too much for him to handle. All his ears heard was explosions. He felt his chakra being eaten away. The world became black.

"…" _Eiji was in the middle of no where._

"_Where am I? Am I dead?" He began to question himself. "No, I'm an Immortal. I can't die."_

_He began to shiver madly as tears crept down his face. He uttered 2 words before the world became light. _

"_I failed."_

"Poor Kid." Kisame said as they began to walk again.

"His body was fueled by utter hate." Itachi mumbled. "It was the only thing that kept him going."

Kakuzu looked around. "Where's Boy Wonder?"

As the Akatsuki looked behind them, Hidan was sitting next to Eiji, talking to him.

"What are you doing Hidan, yeah!" Deidara called.

Eiji woke up and stared at Hidan.

"What are you doing here…?" Eiji mumbled.

"…Nobody ever stood by you, did they?" Hidan stared at him with sad eyes.

"What does it matter to you…" Eiji sighed. He was already humiliated, wasn't that enough? Hidan smiled.

"I was just like you. I had no friends, my dad was an alcoholic and killed my mom. Everyone always scowled at me and told me I could've stopped them, and I was tired of hearing it. So my village became extinct." Hidan smiled sadly. Eiji stared up at him.

"…If you want, I'll stand by you." Hidan muttered under his breath, just so Eiji could hear.

Eiji stared at him with disbelief. His mouth began to quiver as he stared to cry. His strength suddenly came back. He held Hidan in a bear hug and began to cry.

The Akatsuki stood there, dumbfounded.

"Someone's got Writer's Block…" Deidara whispered to Kisame.

"You know, this is really cliché." Kazuhiko said as his sister, Jashin, and Claire turned toward him.

"What do you mean!" Jashin asked.

"Well, most stories have the villain capture the Damsel in Distress, ask the hero they will only give them back for a price, the Hero says ok, you lure them into your trap, not knowing they set up a trap themselves, and the villains get put in jail." Kazuhiko explained as everyone stared at him dumbfounded.

"MFF-FAH-FAH!" Claire managed to muffle through the gag, apparently laughing.

"Kazuhiko."

"What?"

"Stop being a smart-ass." Jashin grunted.

"But it's true."

"Bet you 5 bucks it won't happen!" Kimiko yelled at Kazuhiko.

"Deal." Kazuhiko said as Jashin sighed.

"So, where's Jashin's hideout?" Deidara questioned Eiji, who was being held up by Hidan and Kakuzu.

"The place in front of you that says "Jashin's Awesome Bachelor Pad of Awesomeness." in big red letters." Eiji said as Deidara sweat dropped.

"I was only testing you, un." Deidara said.

"Uh huh." Eiji said.

"_He used Awesome twice…" _Itachi thought as he tried not to act like the grammar police.

"Which is also the place where you won't be getting into." a voice above them said, and Itachi's attention immediately was directed upwards.

"Kazuhiko!" Eiji yelled.

"Heh, you're with them now? Foolish, foolish brother." Kazuhiko said.

"Hey Kisame, are you sensing some serious Deja-vu or what?" Itachi said as he turned to a shrugging Kisame.

"We don't have time to stand around and fight him!" Kakuzu yelled. "If we waste too much time, Claire'll be dead!"

"You don't have to worry about a thing, yeah." Deidara said as he stepped foreword, something in his palm. "I'll take him on."

"Heh. You have guts." Kazuhiko said as a pair of eagle wings sprouted from his back. "Still eager?"

"I guess this'll end up being an aerial battle then, hmm?" Deidara said as he threw what he was holding in the air and jumped up into the air with it.

"KATSU!" He yelled as he was covered in smoke, along with the small object. When the wind blew, it revealed Deidara on a huge clay hawk, with his hand in his side pouch.

"Interesting." Kazuhiko said as he swooped in on Deidara. Deidara dodged and threw a spider at him. It missed.

"WHAT'RE YOU STILL DOING HERE!" Deidara yelled. "GO SAVE CLAIRE!"

"Don't need to tell me twice!" Kisame said as he ran inside, the others following him.

"Heh, this is gonna be harder then I thought." Kazuhiko said.

"Why, cause you realized I'm gonna whoop your ass?" Deidara said while glancing at his nails.

"No, It's because Kimiko can't fight worth shit."

"Oh, hmm." Deidara stated. "Well, it can't be helped."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah really, yeah!" Deidara said as he grinned madly.

"Hey guys." Hidan said.

"What?"

"Wasn't Sasori with us?"

"I don't think so." Itachi said. "Why, is he here?"

"HMM! I see no tomato head anywhere, so I guess you could say he's not here!" Hidan yelled.

"…You didn't have to be sarcastic about it…" Itachi mumbled.

"Shut up!" Eiji said. "Someone's coming!"

"Hey guys." Sasori said when he came around the corner.

"Sasori! What're you doing here!" Kakuzu ranted.

"I don't sleep." Sasori said. "And besides, I didn't have anything better to do, so, I ditched you guys, and have been sneaking around here." he said, putting a hand on his hip.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Kisame said.

"Cause you guys were asleep."

"You know, If you were gonna go off doing your own thing, I could've come with you." Hidan pouted.

"Anyways." Sasori said, rolling his eyes. "I know where Claire is."

"Where is she!" Hidan said, grabbing Sasori's cloak.

"Whoa buddy." Sasori said, face reddening a bit. "Why should I tell you?"

"That's the whole reason we're here, dumbass." Itachi said.

"Oh yeah." Sasori said as Hidan loosened his grip. "This way."

Itachi followed Sasori and the Akatsuki, noticing something odd. Sasori was _never _here! He eyes pierced Sasori's back, as he waited before making his move.

Deidara wiped blood off his lip. This kid was good. Too good. He'd always had the advantage when his opponents were on the ground, but this time, it was an equal fight.

"You're getting worn out." Kazuhiko said through gasps.

"So are you, yeah." Deidara panted.

But before Deidara could even finish, Kazuhiko was lunging toward him. Deidara bent backwards as Kazuhiko flied over him. Deidara got back up and smiled.

"Those limbo lessons sure come in handy, hmm?" Deidara smiled.

"Indeed." Kazuhiko said.

"_You don't have to be so damned sophisticated!" _Deidara frowned. He reached into his side bag.

'_Damn! I don't have enough to last us as long as this battle should!' _Deidara thought, eyes narrowing as he scowled. _'This would be the PERFECT time for a Jar of Dirt… At least I could turn that into clay… Hmm…" _

As Kazuhiko flew at him again, and as Deidara narrowly dodged, he noticed the scene below him. SAND! He never realized that's what he was stepping on this whole time! He figured it was dirt but OMG SAND!

As Deidara flew to the other side of the battlefield, he began to ponder the next move. He was going to have to attack, but how would he get to that sand?

As Sasori continued to lead the Akatsuki further and further down the hallway, Itachi noticed the things that he hadn't before. One, Sasori would _never _under any circumstances, put his hands on his hips. Secondly, Sasori wound _never, ever, __**EVER **_blush when Hidan is in his space. He was pretty sure Sasori liked… Well, girl parts. Itachi got a bit red when he thought of the idea of "girl parts" to himself, but immediately snapped out of it. And lastly, Itachi pondered to himself, _HE WOULD NEVER SWING HIS HIPS WHILE WALKING AT ALL. _He blushed as he noticed what this "Sasori" was doing.

It was obviously a girl no doubt, but why would she take the form of a guy, just to fool them? And how come they didn't remember if Sasori ever came with them?

Kisame tilted his head towards Itachi, and immediately swung it back. Itachi knew what he had meant to say. It was loosely translated to "He's a poser." or "I want out NOW." Itachi nodded, figuring he had meant both things. Kakuzu noticed the exchange, and pointed a finger toward "Sasori" and then changed it into a thumbs up pointing behind him.

"Let's flush him out." Itachi and Kisame nodded as they moved swiftly past Hidan and Eiji and knocked "Sasori" to the floor. Kakuzu didn't even need to do anything, for she immediately changed back to herself.

Kimiko lay there, under Itachi and Kisame's feet. She sniffled back tears of pain as they were crushing _something _in her. How could she fail? She had even used her transformation jutsu better then she ever had before. As she stared up at those lime green eyes of Kakuzu, she became enraged. He was mocking her! She bit her lip until blood trickled down her chin, and chakra began to swarm around her.

Itachi and Kisame immediately backed up, unaware what moves she could pull on them. The chakra hurricane had caused her hair to fly around aimlessly, turning her black hair into black and purple flames, her eyes glowing a pure red. Her canines were pointed into fangs, and her tongue escaped her mouth and lapped up the remaining blood on her chin, reaching where most tongues couldn't. Her hands curled into claws, and began to retract.

"You're finished." a demonic voice said as it escaped Kimiko's blood red lips as she lunged for them.

Deidara jumped off his clay hawk as it soared toward Kazuhiko. He had started to make a head dive toward the ground as he fell. His hands were working on the remaining clay, while his other hand reached in front of him. Kazuhiko dodged the bird by flying farther upward, the hawk blowing up below him as his leg was caught.

Kazuhiko winced as he looked at the damage. It was mangled, but still attached. He saw Deidara falling, and decided to fly full speed after him, making sure he was finished.

As Deidara threw the clay owl he just made toward the ground, he swooped back around toward the ground, causing him to miss becoming a pancake. He grabbed a handful of sand and flew upwards toward an unsuspecting Kazuhiko.

Kazuhiko couldn't prevent what was to happen next. Deidara met him head on, delivering a swift punch to the nose, causing it to break. As Kazuhiko's eyes began to water, Deidara couldn't stop his clay owl from flying, so Deidara managed to deliver a head butt into his stomach too, as they began to fall toward the ground.

Kazuhiko managed to fall onto his back, instead of his head and coughed up a bit of blood over himself, while his now broken nose began to bleed onto the rest of his face. Deidara landed a few feet away, arms first. He wasn't able to hold himself up though, as his arms folded underneath himself and he made a face plant into the ground. He blew the sand out of his mouth, with a bit of blood.

Deidara managed to get up after a while. He walked over to a startled Kazuhiko as he began to breathe deeply, until he finally was above him.

"STAY AWAY!" Kazuhiko managed to cry out, despite the broken nose. "Don't kill me!"

Deidara stood over him, silent. He eventually was able to respond by coughing a bit of blood onto Kazuhiko. As he stared up, dumbfounded, Deidara began to speak.

"Sorry you… went through that… un…" he whispered. "I don't usually… pick fights with… children…" He said as he collapsed backwards, falling into a deep sleep as Kazuhiko fainted from exhaustions. As his wings retracted, he let out a peaceful sigh. He was finally outdone by a smarter being them himself.

Kimiko had chosen Kakuzu as her first target, as she had her claws directed toward him as she ran on all fours to pick up speed. Kakuzu shot his tentacles out at Kimiko to restrain her from attacking, but the fire swarming around her caused him to let go in pain. As Kimiko continued her course, Kakuzu proceeded to harden his fist like a rock, but a kunai flew between the two and they stopped in their tracks.

Their eyes followed to Itachi, whose arm was outstretched from throwing the kunai. Kimiko smiled with her row of sharpened teeth as she turned to her attacker. A bushy black tail began to show as she crouched on all fours, eyes becoming slits.

"Holy Shit what is that!" Kisame stuttered, looking over to Itachi.

"It seems she can shift into a demon kitsune." Itachi mumbled. "Much weaker then nine tails, but very sly."

"Well, Hidan's nowhere to be seen." Kakuzu shouted. "Can you handle her Itachi?"

"Yes, you two go find Hidan and Claire before they kill themselves." Itachi said, nodding towards the exit.

As Kisame and Kakuzu left, Kimiko began to purr a little in anticipation of killing a prestigious member of the Uchiha clan. When she got mad, she loved to drink the blood of her victims after she killed them. Uchiha blood should sell real fine.

Itachi sighed, unbuttoning his cloak a couple of buttons, to let one of his arms out, showing he was holding a katana. He smiled as he said "It's _my _job to capture the Kyuubi, so taking a Kitsune down will be no problem."

Hidan ran down the hallways, getting more and more pissed off as he checked each door he came to. He finally got away from those slow asses, and he was going to find her. He wasn't going to stop every time a villain approached. The second she started getting, how you say, 'foxy', he ran for the exit. Hidan knew Claire was strong, but she couldn't handle torture from Jashin. He found some stairs spiraling downwards, so he began to run through that in an instant. Man, how he wished the stairs would just turn into some sort of Super Fun Happy Slide and get down them faster. As he opened the door at the bottom of the stairs, he was greeted with a major heat wave. The sky was a deep orange, and continued to move even without any wind. Before he saw Claire on an antique looking chair, a familiar voice greeted him.

"Welcome to the core my son." Jashin smiled.

As Kimiko was becoming tired, Itachi began to create multiple hand signs before she could react. A fire ball swallowed her whole, as she fell to the ground, her clothes covered in soot and falling apart. She lay on the ground, ashamed that she couldn't stop them herself. Her tail and fangs disappeared and her claws turned back into fingers and nails. Her legs were broken due to the bending backwards of the legs so she could be able to run fast on all fours. That's easy animal knowledge, correct?

Itachi walked over to her and let out a long breath. He was able to get away without using his Mangekyo Sharingan, but he was still exhausted. Itachi then turned around to walk to the exit, and he left Kimiko to shed tears of pure hatred.

"Wait I'm your son!" Hidan yelled at Jashin, utterly confused.

"Not biologically idiot." Jashin's eyes narrowed. "In the religious sense of the word."

"Oh." Hidan said simply, as he began to calm down a bit. He noticed Claire in the background all tied up and he felt like he was just punched in the stomach. He hated this feeling. _'Why the Hell do I feel like I've got to spew NOW!' _Hidan thought angrily, but he knew deep down that that wasn't the problem.

Then out of nowhere, Jashin sent Hidan flying to the other side of the wall, causing his head to get stuck. Hidan's legs began to flail around hopelessly for a bit until they found a foot hold to help pull himself out. He landed on his butt and began to stare at his God. What was _he _getting all bitchy for?

"It's not polite to stare at your Kami like that." he smiled, revealing a pointed tooth.

Claire continued to struggle, but she was careful not to make noise that would alert him that she was trying to escape. She stared at the locket on her neck, wishing her parents could help her now. She shook her head ferociously, telling herself that she was the only one that could fend for herself now, and she reached for her cell phone in her pocket and began to take it apart with her hands tied up. She finally came across a metal chunk in the phone and began to rub the piece on her rope. She felt it loosening bit by bit, and she felt relived.

'_Hold on Hidan!' _Claire thought, trying to send him her message as she fought back tears. _'I'm not a coward anymore!' _

Pain began to twiddle his thumbs in the middle realm (the Living) and finally smacked his head against the table. Konan became immediately concerned and began to stroke his shoulder.

"You know Pain-kun, if you want to help them, nobody is stopping you." she whispered, beginning to stroke his brilliant orange hair.

"I guess I should." Pain said, standing up and putting a hand through his hair. "It's been a long time since I've seen him, and I don't know If he's gotten stronger since we parted ways." He leaned into Konan and gave her a quick peck on her forehead and began to blush and run off full speed when he realized what he did.

Konan watched him run of like a little kid and laughed. She missed those days and began to feel a bit homesick. She managed to whisper "Be careful… Yahiko."

Claire could barely stand to see Hidan getting smacked around like this. Every time he would try to counter, Jashin would come back and get him stronger then his last hit. At this rate, they would end up fighting for an eternity! Claire cut through the first set of ropes and began to cut the ones on her ankles.

Then, out of nowhere a tsunami broke loose in the room, and the waves were starting at the door. Kisame was riding his Samehada on the largest wave entering the room, and was crouching down, sword hilt in one hand, and the other extended in front of him. When Kisame was close enough he swung his sword around to hit him, but Jashin disappeared last minute and kicked him in the back, causing him to fly onto his face.

As Jashin stood smiling, tentacles began to snake up his body, keeping him in place. He remained smiling as Jashin had sparks around him, shocking everyone besides Claire, because she hadn't been in the water. As the tentacles left from around Jashin, he began to grin wider, the shock not causing him pain at all. Kakuzu walked around the corner of the door, a hand supporting himself on the doorframe. He took the most of the shock, and was exhausted.

"Don't you realize?" Jashin said, chuckling to himself. "YOU'LL NEVER WIN AGAINST A GOD!" He then went into full blown laughter, scaring Claire just a bit.

Claire was waiting, ready to pounce. Jashin's back was to her, and she began to crouch forward and began to lunge. Hidan must have seen her. She heard a lot of things at that moment. Hidan's yelling, Jashin's maniacal laughter, and her memories. She remembered the week before her parents died. Claire had failed the 9th grade, and not even summer school would help her. She was usually a good student, but some kids who didn't like her hacked into the school computer and changed her grades. She had no proof, so she walked home, upset. When she told her mother and father, they didn't scold her at all. They praised her and said as long as she did her best, they would always love her. Her father patting her head, her mother hugging her.

As she came back to the real world, she noticed Jashin turn and his face grow pale and confused. She grinned like a maniac. He _knew _he was screwed.

She yelled inconceivable words as she hit him square in the jaw. He let out a shocked breath, but responded by grabbing the hand that hit him and flipped her over. Claire let out a hiss of frustration and power as she flipped him over her, the same way he did. He laid on his back staring up in shock and anger.

He knocked her over with his legs, and she hit the floor with her hands, and kicked upwards toward Jashin. He caught her foot and delivered a swift blow to Claire's stomach. He crouched to her level so he was eye to eye with her. Claire was returning his gaze with the face of a warrior.

"Are we done doing this useless fighting, kitten?" Jashin purred into her ear. "I'll kill you nicely if you back down now. Cerberus likes his cats mutilated." He grinned.

Claire then responded by tilting her head up so it was right in front of Jashin's. He snickered, thinking how desperate this girl must be for male attention. Maybe if she hadn't came with the intent to kill, he would have maybe spared her, for a price. He grinned evilly as he pulled her face a bit closer. When they were just inches apart, she spat blood right on his face, and while he was confused, she took the palm of her hand and hit it against his neck.

As Jashin was hit, he grabbed her neck with both hands and picked her up. She kept swinging her knee into his crotch, but Jashin wouldn't fall. She tried to calm down, knowing if she struggled, she would have less breath. As she wheezed, Jashin began to laugh again. He finally stopped after a minute to speak.

" You're a little bitch aren't you!" Jashin smiled inhumanly. "At least you'll have a nice little scar when you're stuck in that Neitherworld waiting room!" He said, shaking with laughter.

Claire began to tremble beneath his grip. He was going insane! What did he mean the Neitherworld! Hell may be real, but the Neitherworld was a creation of-

Claire stopped thinking after she was suddenly released and caught a glimpse of a orange haired man kicking Jashin in the side, and he caught her as she began to fall. She began to breathe in little bits as she began to fall asleep, safe and cozy…

"Long time Jashin." Pain said coolly. Jashin looked shocked for a bit, but then got mad. Before he could speak though, he noticed the young boy behind Pain in an orange spiral mask.

"Who the hell is that kid!" Jashin hissed, but suddenly stopped as the boy took his mask off, revealing two beautiful crimson eyes.

"So you don't remember me Jashin?" the red eyed man chuckled. "After all that time we've worked together too? I'm surprised you've forgotten our-"

"Our deal. Yes I remember." Jashin sighed. "but we are even now, why have you come back?"

His red eyes narrowed playfully. "It's not me that needs the favor this time." he smiled. "Pain just asked me to come along to see how you were doing, that's all"

"Pain-" Jashin began.

"I want you to leave my subordinates alone." Pain said in a rough voice. "You may be Hidan's god, but you have no right to punish him over something as petty as this. Or Claire."

"You realize I'm going to have to get something in return, right?" Jashin sighed.

"Well, what do you want?" Pain nodded.

"I won't ask for anything now." Jashin said as he turned around. "But when I need something, you can't say no to me." he muttered as he conjured Kimiko and Kazuhiko to the room, where he was healing him.

"I'm here-" Eiji said as he ran through the door with his spear. He had needed to go to the bathroom, and on the way back, he got lost. His gaze was fixated on the black haired man with the large red globes.

The man strolled over to him. Eiji suddenly felt very homesick. This man wasn't his father, but he reminded Eiji of him. As the man began to lean down to reach him, Eiji braced himself in case he was going to hit him, like his father. But instead, the man began to stroke his head, and Eiji opened his blue eyes to stare at him.

"This boy has hidden powers in him." He said in a rough, but gentle voice as he continued to ruffle his hair. Pain and Jashin were staring anxiously to see what he would do. But all the man did was turn to pick up Kakuzu and Kisame's unconscious bodies, and began to put his mask back on his face.

"We are leaving now." The man said as he led the way out the door. Pain picked up Hidan and followed the dark haired man to get Deidara.

Claire woke up at 11:43, to see Blake watching her from a chair in the corner of the room. He stood up and walked over to the side of the bed and gave her a soft, playful punch on the cheek.

"How are we tough girl?" Blake said as he grinned. Claire responded by jabbing him back in the arm with a lot more force, and answered, "How we doing Damsel in Distress?"

"Oww!" Blake yelped. "Uncool."

"I don't care dork." she laughed as she stuck her tongue out at him. He laughed back after a while, figuring she'll never let it go if he makes a big deal out of all this.

"Oh, there's one more thing." Blake said, interrupting the laughter. "Hidan had wanted to see you on the roof."

"Alright." Claire said as she got up and looked around. This must be the Akatsuki, for it wasn't the bookshop. "And Blake?" she asked before leaving the room.

"What is it Claire?" Blake answered.

"Thanks for being there for me Blake" Claire said, turning back and hugging him. "You are a real friend."

Blake felt something click when she said friend. He began to hug her back, knowing she wouldn't deceive him like others have. "I do too."

Claire finally pulled herself up the last few ledges and onto the roof. She noted to herself that she needs to work out sometime.

She noticed Hidan curled up on the other side of the roof. She scooted over next to him and sat down. She began to play with her nails when he finally answered.

"Thank you for helping me Claire." Hidan mumbled.

"Oh." Claire looked at him, and looked at her feet again. "It's ok."

Hidan and Claire sat for a few more minutes before he finally said something again.

"You must really like me, huh?" Hidan asked, face beet red.

"Of course!" Claire met his gaze again, this time not looking away. "You are one of the first people not in my family that has said they loved me! All the kids at my school used to call me a queer dyke." she looked down and laughed a little bit. "Though that might be because I've refused to date every single boy whose asked me." Hidan stared at her for a bit, then opened his mouth again.

"So why me?" Hidan declared. "There are plenty of guys who are better looking then me!" He thought about what he said for a minute, then added, "In the face and personality section at least, nobody can have these muscles." He said grinning, causing Claire to giggle.

"Your face is good looking!" Claire said, putting a hand under his chin. "And your personality is adorable!"

"My personality is not fucking adorable!" Hidan blushed, waving his arms aimlessly in the air, and looking like he wants to fly away from this awkward situation. "I swear too fucking much!"

"I don't care if you swear!" Claire said, putting her hand on top of his, getting him off his spazz attack. "I care that you care about me, and your quirks are what make you special!" she exclaimed, causing Hidan to reach into his pocket and turn a deep red.

Meanwhile, on the ground, Kakuzu, Tobi, Kisame, Itachi, and Deidara were hiding in the bushes underneath where Hidan and Claire were.

"Well, he did buy it, so he's obviously going to give it to her!" Kakuzu whispered frantically. "He wouldn't spend so much money if that wasn't the case!"

"But he's too chicken, un!" Deidara hissed while rubbing his forehead bandage.

"Hidan's a good boy!" Tobi said. "If he really loves her, he'll do this!"

"I still have to go with Deidara." Kisame shifted around on the grass. "What about you Itachi-san?"

"It's pointless to guess." Itachi muttered, but had a small smile on his face.

Hidan finally took the object out of his pocket. It was exactly midnight, when he said he'd do this. "Claire?"

"Yes Hidan-?" Claire began to say as Hidan stood her up and opened the box for her to see a beautiful red diamond ring, centered between the crisscross of red veins surrounding the diamond. The gold was a black color, and she decided to pick up the ring out of the box. She traced her finger all around the ring, and finally put it on her finger. Hidan blushed a brilliant red, as Claire said those simple words, "Yes Hidan!" and fell into his arms and held his face close to hers as they leaned into each other and kissed under the midnight moonlight, as the Akatsuki below in the bushes jumped out and cheered them on.

Blake leaned out of the window just below them and smiled. He felt bad about being mean during Blake's favorite movie re-telling, The Nightmare Before Christmas. So he wanted to surprise her and tell her in a way he loved Tim Burton's work too, and began to sing.

"_My dearest friend, If you don't mind~" _Blake sang, leaning out the window. His voice was soft and sweet and hit every not with precise timing. _"I'd like to join you by your, Side~ Where we can gaze, into the stars~" _Claire and Hidan both got the idea and pulled apart for one moment.

"_And sit together~ Now and forever~" _They sang in unison, with the moon shining brightly behind them. _"For it is~ Plain as~ Anyone can see~" _They whispered into the moonlight. _"We're simply meant to be~" _The Akatsuki had continued to cheer, so Hidan and Claire were put back together, like pieces of a puzzle, and kissed under that beautiful bright moon, staying that way for a long time to come.

**Be sure to keep an eye out for the Gochikku Hon'ya sequel, coming out this September/October! I won't tell you the name yet, because even I don't even have a clue! And Like I said before, Domo Arigato for liking my story and following it until the end. I thank you very much, and so do Claire and Blake! See you all soon!**


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